In the eye of the storm

-Be still

I seriously LOVE the autumn, for many reasons.

But what I love the most is to sit inside when there is a storm raging outside,

with rain hammering on the window.

To crawl up in my favorite chair,

with a lovely blanket around me,

lighted candles all around me,

listening to praise-songs to the Lord on the CD-player

(hopefully soon it will be a LP-player;-)),

and either drawing, painting or reading a good(or the best) book.

That is my favorite part of Autumn.

It is sort of a melancholy feeling, but in the midst of it, I find joy.

I love to sit safe inside, while listening to the thunder outside.

“There’s just something so fun in all this weather drama, isn’t there?”,

Pam writes.

And I just have to agree with her.

I just had to write this post right away, because it was like the thought hit me like lightening:

When we have accepted Jesus as God, son of God and our savior,

we can sit like that when we’re in a storm.

If we place ourselves in the eye of the storm, where it is silent,

and let God fight for us…

Then we can find rest.

Joy, even.

When we’re in the eye of the storm, let’s be still.

Be still

Let God fight for you.

He is more capable than you are, and can give you the rest you need at the same time.

AvaSophie.Wordpress.com

Lets pretend it is Autumn all year around:

If it’s storming around,bring back that autumn stillness inside while listening to the thunder outside.

²⁹ For You, O Lord, are my Lamp; the Lord lightens my darkness.

³⁰ For by You I run through a troop; by my God I leap over a wall.

³¹ As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried. He is a Shield to all those who trust and take refuge in Him.

³² For who is God but the Lord? And who is a Rock except our God?

³³ God is my strong Fortress; He guides the blameless in His way and sets him free.

³⁴ He makes my feet like the hinds’ [firm and able]; He sets me secure and confident upon the heights.

³⁵ He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

³⁶ You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; and Your condescension and gentleness have made me great.

³⁷ You have enlarged my steps under me, so that my feet have not slipped.(…)

⁴⁷ The Lord lives; blessed be my Rock, and exalted be God, the Rock of my salvation.

⁴⁸ It is God Who executes vengeance for me and Who brought down [and disciplined] the peoples under me,

⁴⁹ Who brought me out from my enemies. You also lifted me up above those who rose up against me; You delivered me from the violent man.

⁵⁰ For this I will give thanks and extol You, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing praises to Your name.

⁵¹ He is a Tower of salvation and great deliverance to His king, and shows loving-kindness to His anointed, to David and his offspring forever.

2. Samuel 22: 29-37

Let God be your lighthouse:0)

I wish you a blessed week!

with love,

Ava Sophie

Linking up with Coffee for your heart:

For the questions standing unanswered

Why does God allow murder?

Why does He allow suffering?

Why does He allow bad things to happen to good people, and good things to bad people?

Why does he allow accidents to end with death?

Why does He allow what happened to me?

Why does he allow …?

I am sure we all have asked some difficult, BIG questions at one point in our lives. They are difficult, because there really are no answers to them. I understand how it feels like when all you can see is, “how can God be just, when He allows such things?”

Tanya Anurag asked some BIG questions a few weeks back, and I thought it was so great of her to end her post with:

“BUT He(GOD) has His own plans to FINISH it- the Master Plans! The plans we cannot question!”

I think it is only natural for us humans to question things, we seek understanding and knowledge, and I think it is OK to question God sometimes too. As humans we will never be perfect, not even in our faith.

“Thank you that you don’t condemn us for our humanity but instead hold us until we can move forward again.” -Holley Gerth

But I think it can be unhealthy to ponder these questions too long and give them too much room. I am thinking too much room is when you don’t get peace because of some questions NAGGING you and poking you, taking you away from your faith.

I believe that there is great comfort for those mourning: if they seek the Lord, they will be comforted. I believe that even though we can get angry at God sometimes, the only way to heal our wounds is to turn to God.

^{18 “}I have seen his [willful] ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him also and will recompense him and restore comfort to him and to those who mourn for him.

¹⁹ Peace, peace, to him who is far off [both Jew and Gentile] and to him who is near! says the Lord; I create the fruit of his lips, and I will heal him [make his lips blossom anew with speech in thankful praise].”

Isaiah 57:18-19

It is OK to tell God your angry at Him. He loves it when we share our whole lives with Him, so He can participate. And He knows we can be angry, He created us with those feelings. But more than anything He wants us to turn to Him, and not from Him, when those feelings and thoughts and questions comes.

I also believe that there are certain things God can’t intervene with, because of our free will. Sometimes He can’t intervene, because I am not the only one with free will, and everybody don’t have the same way of giving my free will to Him, as I do. And even though I give my life to Him, and let Him steer me, I still make mistakes, because I fail to listen.

When “bad” people decides to do bad things, I believe God is sometimes hindered to intervene, because of the free will He has given us all -because He loves us so much! The same goes for “good people” doing bad things.

I don’t believe God separates us from each other with labels like “good” and “bad”.

Because we all do bad stuff.

We all sin.

http://holleygerth.com/free-words/

God IS love, and can only act lovingly.

He cannot act against Himself.

But there is an enemy in the world who does all in his power to convince us and show us that God is not just good, that God is not loving, that God is not JUST.

But God is just.

We sort of placed ourselves in this situation -when Adam and Eve were disobedient in Eden. We are facing the consequences for that here on earth, but that’s where God’s everlasting love comes in again. That’s why He sent his only son to SAVE us from those consequences. To save us, so we can get an eternity in fellowship with our loving creator.

All we have to do is believe.

And trust.

Ava Sophie

I am sure you know this, but I just want to share with you what perspective I’ve gotten after having struggled with those kinds of questions.

All the bad started when we sought knowledge in Eden. And still we seek knowledge, and that is usually a good thing, until we reach a certain point. We are promised that if we seek God first, we will be given all else in return. All God really wants for us is to have fellowship with us, in Eden, and now.

Because He knows that that is what is BEST for us!

To have all knowledge is not what is best for us,

being with Him is.

Believe me, I am the type of girl that don’t like to accept anything until I understand it;-) Knowledge. Which is why faith IS hard.

We need to take a leap of faith, not knowing all there is to know.

But I promise you, He WILL catch you, and give you all you need;-)

If you’re carrying any unanswered, difficult questions, there is only one who can answer them. Only God can answer the hard questions. Some things we won’t get answer to until He comes to take us home. But it is important to be honest with ourselves and God -to acknowledge those questions and feelings, and be talk about it!

“we both know there’s one thing worse than the question that can’t be answered. It’s the question that was never asked.” Jennifer Dukes Lee

For Jennifer, it was the unanswered questions she dared to ask that saved her faith. If you want to read about it, click on the link above.

“Dear Lord, I pray for those asking questions that won’t get an answer in this life, may you fill their hearts with peace and let them feel your love, fill them up with your love! I pray for those asking difficult questions with difficult answers, May you give their soul rest, peace and grace to lay the questions with no answer yet away. May you lead to them someone with an answer, those that seek an answer You can give. I pray for all those who have lost someone. Comfort them. Be with them. Let them feel your presence, know that you are there, show them that they can come to you to get all that they need.

I pray for those who want this life to end, who is ready to come home with you, may you be with them all the time they are waiting, give them peace in their hearts, and fill them with your love.

I pray for all people having doubts about you and those who can’t see the true you because the enemy is telling lies about you. Protect their hearts and thoughts against lies and hurt! Lead them to the truth, heal their hurts and heal their wounds. In Jesus name, amen!”

Kristen Welch writes about how telling someone her question, and brokenness, be met with an genuine interest made a difference in her life. She says:

“I let her in. And she tasted my brokenness. As I wiped my tears and apologized for my awkward answer slash confession, she asked me what I wanted to happen. How did I want God to answer this big question mark in my life?”

I wrote this several days ago, now I am adding my Five minute Friday contribute below:

Ava Sophie

Go:

Last night I asked a friend a question that has been nagging me, one I thought I had made peace with, but reappeared. She really wanted to know how I was, and I told her the ugly truth. She really listened.

She didn’t have the right answers.

She didn’t say much, but she listened.

She said she was right there with me.

That I am not alone.

She reminded me of Jesus’ love.

That is powerful!

I think I can be so bold to say that it is more powerful than giving the answer to my question. Because knowledge and answers is not always the most important.)

Let’s not put our lives on hold while waiting for answers. Let us pray instead

-the prayer Jesus taught us:

^9″ Pray, therefore, like this: Our Father Who is in heaven, hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

¹⁰ Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread.

¹² And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven (^[a]left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have ^[b]given up resentment against) our debtors.

¹³ And lead (bring) us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen”.

-Matthew 6:9-13

“Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

God is the one to change the world, and He will do it through you if you let Him in.

Even when it is messy.

Even when it is ugly inside.

Stop.

With love,

Ava Sophie

When your brokenness catches up with you

…and all you see is UGLY.

U nwanted.

G one.

L onely.

Y ounger

than should have been…

http://holleygerth.com/free-words/

Last week I experienced something that triggered some feelings in me. It was a perfectly safe situation, and I was totally unprepared for what happened inside me.

All of a sudden, I was scared. The kind of scared that leaves fear, anxiety and panic standing on the sidelines like pretty, harmless kittens. The kind that leaves you feeling all hope is gone. That “Run-For-Your-Life”-kind of scared. I thought: Why isn’t anyone coming to save me? and then I thought, why should anyone try to save me, I am perfectly safe, there is nothing to fear.

It was useless to make sense with myself. It was useless talking sense to me.

My feelings wouldn’t listen.

I needed someone to show me that I was safe. To hold me. Convince me that the surroundings I saw around me was what’s real, and not the feeling on the inside that had given up hope to ever be saved.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.

² When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.

³ For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt  for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba [a province of Ethiopia] in exchange [for your release].” –Isaiah 43:1-3

I realized that the feelings were just as real as the situation I was in, even though it didn’t make sense. It was because what I felt didn’t belong to that situation, or those surroundings that were perfectly safe. I realized that my feelings were just as real, they were just from about 21 years ago. Like they had been hiding out in me or something. Frozen in time.

I realized the feelings -that popped up unexpectedly and out of nowhere in a situation where they did not belong- was from when I was abused. Though I can recall the memories if I want to, there were no memories popping up. Only the feelings.

Which was why it was so confusing.

Previously I’ve written a rather direct post about how I was sexually abused when I was a little girl.

I thought I had dealt with it. That I was done with it. The person who did it to me is forgiven. The pain is just there, but faded.  I’ve accepted how my life turned out. I’ve accepted(not the same as saying it is OK) that it happened. That it is past. I was happy with that.

And then I realized something else… I didn’t know what to do with it all. I became angry. Why would that person still have power over me, control me, even long after that person is out of my life? I grieved over the fact that it wasn’t over. I grieved over what was taken from me then, and now.

That the control over my own life was taken from me.

Ava Sophie WordPress

Don’t get me wrong, I’d finally gotten to the point where I dared letting God have the control over my life. I had finally started trusting that God really only had what was absolutely best for me in mind. And I was even happy about God taking control in my life.

But to have a person that does not have my best interests in mind take control over me, a long time after he took my innocence, destroyed my sense of right and wrong, broke my sense of what is love and what is not. Destroyed in me the courage to take responsibility of my life, and hindered me in so many ways in life. And just after I finally with the grace of God, had starting to rebuild the ability to separate right from wrong(and choose right), figured out what is really love and where love comes from, created in me new courage to take responsibility over my life again. That’s just wrong.

It was just devastating.

Then another question popped into my mind:

“Why didn’t God save me back then when it really mattered?”

http://holleygerth.com/free-words/

I couldn’t get peace. I couldn’t get away from the feeling of being in grave danger, even after I knew where the feelings came from. I couldn’t stop grieving.

I still grieve.

I couldn’t even talk to God. I just couldn’t form words. I was so angry with Him. I just didn’t know how to turn to Him, speak to Him, or sing praise to Him.

But I did something:

I painted.

I believe painting is a gift God has given me. And after last week I believe we connect with God when we uses His gifts, uses the good He has laid down in us.

“God gives you specific talents and then shows the way to use them for good—to point others to Him, to bless the church, to glorify Himself so we’re all drawn to Him even more. God is the giver of dreams and the planner of futures”

                              –Katy Kuffman

Even though I didn’t form a single word in my mind or with my tongue, when I was finished painting, things between my Savior and me was set right again. It was like my soul and God had a conversation I didn’t know about and made things right again.

All the while I felt God’s presence.

And I know in my heart that it was okay not to say anything to Him, at that point. He knows my heart. And He mended the part where I questioned Him, without a word.

I don’t have anymore answers than I did before. But I am convinced deep within me, that no matter what happened or happens, God is only good!

I know that I am grieving what was taken from me. And I probably will for a while.

But God has the ability to heal me from all my wounds and hurts anytime, even those in my heart, even my grief. But whether He does it tonight, or in three years, is up to Him. He is the only one who knows.

His timing is the only right timing.

Even when we don’t understand it.

Meanwhile, I am clinging on to a word that came to me through a stranger, but also a sister in faith, this fall:

“You will become healthy, mentally and physically. You will be free from all wounds and all memories from the past.”

  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your path.”

                                            -Proverbs 3:5-6

And I chose to believe:

…the Bible

…that God is good

…that God is love

…that God cares for me

…that I can trust God with my life

….despite my unanswered question(s),

…and despite my brokenness.

That is me taking the control back.

And then giving it to God ;-)

It is not UGLY anymore.

It is BEAUTY:

B eautiful

E nabled

A bout Jesus

U nknown

T ruth

Y ears restored

“Away with you, Satan(and “ghosts” from my past)! In Jesus name, Amen!”

And I hope that will bring me one step closer to becoming the godly proverb 31 woman:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.”

-Proverbs 31:25

I am not laughing without fear just yet, but I am laughing(sometimes crying too). And most importantly I am clothing myself in strength that don’t belong to me. Because I am nothing on my own.

But in Christ I have all strength I need.

All I have to do is choose to use it.

  I want to encourage others that recognizes any of what I described in this post to keep in mind that being brave is not about never being scared or afraid.

http://holleygerth.com/free-words/

It is about what you do with it. I can feel the feeling, but I refuse to let it control me!

Elanor Roosevelt said:

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

I haven’t been able to just like that choose not to feel inferior, right away, but I’ve learned one thing. I accept that I feel what I feel, but don’t accept that feeling to stay.  And then I do what I can to rid myself of it. Mostly that means surrounding me with God’s truths and promises.

http://holleygerth.com/free-words/

“You make it through those moments of wishful thinking and you choose to live, to become, to grow in the place where you’re planted in this season.”

-Holley Gerth

God uses my brokenness and make beauty out of ashes.

He will do the same to yours.

If you let Him.

With love,

Ava Sophie

Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee’s Tell His Story:

Linking up with Holley Gerth’s Coffee for your heart

Do we tell anyone?

Joining the Five minute Fridays writers at Kate’s who write for FIVE minutes, with no judgement, no backtracking, no pressure. Today’s prompt is TELL.

Go:

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship and community lately. About how we live as brothers and sisters in faith.

For those of you who has seen the tv-series “One Tree Hill” might remember the teenage girl Peyton Sawyer saying to the girls(second season):

“I want us all to be friends. I want us to be so close that we can tell each other stuff. The bad stuff too.”

Because who do we tell when something happens in our lives?

Or do we tell anyone?

Do we just show the mask we want people to see on Facebook and let that be the way people see us?

Do we just tell our best friend and hide from the rest of the world?

Do we wear a mask?

Or a do we carry a brick wall with us to place between us and people, afraid anyone will get to close?

I don’t think we ought to tell everybody everything.

But I do believe in living an open life, where what we say or do can stand the light of day. I believe in confessions, confess to someone what didn’t take the light of day. That way you take away the devils weapon, and he cant hold anything against you.

I believe in living a real life, where we don’t have to hide anything, where we don’t have a mask, and where we crush that brick wall till there is only dust left.

Ava Sophie WordPress

Let God blow his wind over the dust and carry it away from you.

The Real life costs. You’ll be vulnerable. You might feel like an easy target. It might be really uncomfortable.  You might experience hurt. You might experience to hurt someone unintentionally.

But it is real.

And then the honesty,

forgiveness,

humbleness,

and grace

are great tools God has given us to move on,

and still lead a real life.

It all starts with telling someone.

Tell about your joys.

tell about your love.

Tell about your hurts.

Tell your confessions.

Tell your heartbreaks.

Tell your struggles.

Take the risk.

Live real.

STOP.

I know a little about those masks and brick walls.

I’ve lived a life filled with a lifetime of fear, anxiety, especially the social anxiety part.

I know how difficult it is to leave the mask at home. I know how hard work it is to start banging down at that brick wall.

I know what it takes to start living real.

To let people in.

To live a life that can stand the light of day to shine on. I know what it takes to tell someone that dark secret defining me for so many years.

I know it isn’t easy.

I am not telling you it is.

I’m telling you it is worth it.

That letting go of it all, is worth it.

And I am telling you that if you give people the chance to see the real you, those of them that are truly friends will still like you.

Still love you.

And still see what is beautiful about YOU.

Actually they will see it better than before, because honest, real and open will always be better than any “perfect mask” you can let your imagination come up with.

Ava Sophie wordpress

I am telling you that you don’t have to do the work on your own. God is with you every step of the way.

God is cheering YOU on.

All He wants is to be with you, show you His love. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to live real, because He already see what you’re trying to hide from everybody.

“Thank you that instead of guilt and shame you offer us compassion and grace.

What we need most is simply this: to know you love us no matter what.“

                                                    –Holley Gerth

So don’t hide those tears streaming down your face.

You are more beautiful than ever!

With love,

Ava Sophie.

also linking up with Holley Gerth:

The layers of filling that made YOU

This is the first Five minute Friday with Kate Motaung, who has been given the baton by Lisa Jo Baker. I will go back to basics this week, and write for FIVE minutes only, and see what we can make of it. I need to get the rules back into my system…

Todays promt is FILL:

Go:

When I paint a painting, first I use some coverage(don’t know the right word for it), for the paint to “fasten” to the sheet.

Yesterday I tried two different “coverage-paint”, by mistake, and realized they made such a cool effect together. Then I paint one layer.  And then another.

Along the way, when I look at one layer at the time, I wonder HOW this is going to turn into something I can be satisfied with. The paint dries, and another layer is painted. And so on.

After some months experience, I’ve come to realize, that I don’t wonder “how this is going to turn into something good”.

I have come to realize how the layers fill and blend with each other, and together gives a beautiful expression.

Now, I wonder in excitement, how it all will turn out.

I think it is sort of like that with God, except the part of the unknown:

He knows how each layer will make the difference to the finishing.

Imagine we are made with many layers, and when you look at one layer without the others, you might wonder HOW it can be a good thing.

Perhaps it is that toe that you’re afraid to show, because it is queer. Or it might be that laugh of yours -the one that everyone notices, because it is different!

Whatever it is,

God put it there for a reason.

If you see it in the whole perspective, together with the other layers, I am sure you’ll find that it belongs with the rest of you, because:

together it makes a perfect you.

And if you DON’T see it, please ask God to show you.

If you ask I am sure He will show you (along with a little portion of patience).

.

Sarah Markley writes on (in)Courage:

“But there is always beauty from ashes and beauty from the dust. (…)He is longing to show us the beauty”

Also linking up with Holley Gerth’s “Coffee for your heart”

Bound by chains of indifference…

…and fears.

Quite a while ago:

over a couple of months Ava Sophie had several close persons she trusted telling her she’s a bad person(and exactly how bad), telling her everything she had done (and still do) wrong. At the time when things were said, she thought:

“This is wrong. They can say it, think it, and have that opinion(obviously express it as well), but what I am hearing now is not true! That is not the kind of person I am, and they have got it wrong.”

Unfortunately, when people are close, and when you care about then, their opinion of you will matter at one point. You can try all you want to keep a distance to what has been said or done, but at the end of the day(or after a while), it will sink in, and it will really hurt.

Ava Sophie had no problem with forgiving these persons.

With Gods help, Ava Sophie had no problem with forgiving these persons. She had two other challenges, though: she was hurt, and it wouldn’t disappear from her memory even though she had forgiven. Second, She let it get to her. Which is human. As humans we are vulnerable, weak, sensitive and we have a limited set of tools to protect and shield ourselves with.

In this period Ava Sophie had a failure report on all of her shields. they just dropped down and let everything in. She felt numb. Cold. She couldn’t do anything, just laid there shaking. Not even being able to sleep. Not being able to speak.

It was like she had frozen, and couldn’t get out of it.

Her boyfriend called her closest friends in the community, and just held around her meanwhile. At the time it was like she didn’t feel it. Ava Sophie had led a life filled with fear, anxiety, and depression, in her past.  An anxiety attack wasn’t unusual. But this was nothing like an anxiety attack, or depression. She’s never experienced anything like it, before or after. To this day she can’t really explain what happened.

She was bound by chains of indifference.

Looking back, she could see how essential it was to be held and get to talk with her friends in the community as soon as possible afterwards.

She could only see judgement and judged herself for all she did, almost scared to do anything. Scared that she might do anyone anything wrong, when she only meant good. Scared to be selfish.

The devil had gotten a hold on her.

The way back was encouraged by her boyfriend, the community telling her truths from The Bible, and be met with Jesus’ unconditional love.  It took her a long time to start trusting again. It took a long time…

…for the hurt to heal.

…for her to be able to be herself.

…for her to stop pleasing everybody else.

…to start taking care of herself.

But in that time God has done many things in her. Countless things. Huge things. Lessons.

But most of all God showed her how much he loved her.

What he gave up for her.

What he has done, are doing, and will do in her.

He showed her she is forgiven and that there is no judgement for those in Christ.

“Miracle” -Sarah Groves

Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
Quiet our hearts for a little while

Things have been spoken
Shouldn’t be said
Rattles around in our hearts and our heads

Let’s feel what we cannot feel
Know what we cannot know
Let’s heal where we couldn’t heal
Oh, it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle

Things have been spoken
Shouldn’t be said
Rattles around in our hearts and our heads

Let’s feel what we cannot feel
Know what we cannot know
Let’s heal where we couldn’t heal
Oh, it’s a miracle, love is a miracle

Let’s feel what we cannot feel
Know what we cannot know
Let’s heal where we couldn’t heal
Oh, it’s a miracle

Let’s say what we cannot say
Let’s see what we cannot not see
Let’s hear what we could not hear
Oh it’s a mystery, love is a mystery
Oh it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle
Let’s be a miracle

In this time between being bound by and breaking free from the chains, Ava Sophie went through a process where she gradually stopped hiding from conflicts and uncomfortable situations. She now see that it is love to stand through it all no matter how hard it is. Of course there are situations where you will have to distance yourself for own protection -we are called to:

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”Romans 12:18

She dared to trust again. Little by little. She stopped trying to please everybody. She is letting go of the hurt. She is ready to be herself -the girl she is in Christ. Ava Sophie is called to give comfort and love, even in difficult situations.

With Jesus by her side always.

Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8

But it has to start with allowing herself to be God’s child, accepting His love, knowing that she is loved and love herself as God loves her. Knowing she is His beloved.

Then, She can love her neighbor as herself.

Crystal Stine shared her story over at (in)Courage about how she was hurt by someone in her community, how it affected her ability to trust, and how God used the bad to lead her back to community, to show her how important it is, and what a blessing it is.

Ava Sophie wouldn’t last long without a community of brothers and sisters in faith. Without a community of people with close relationships with Jesus. Some may think of it as weak, but study The Bible and you’ll find out what God says about it and also why we need to live in a close community. It is simple, too:

We need each other to show Jesus’ love for the world.

In a close community(as in all close relations) conflicts might to appear. Hurt may find its way to your heart. That is why Paul wants us to be fix our mind onto:

“(…)whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them]” Philippians 4:8(AMP)

As Christians we are not perfect. We won’t be perfect until God has finished His work in us. We are humans, and we makes mistakes. In God’s eyes we are good enough. But if you experience that someone hurts you, I want to encourage you to give it to the Lord, Jesus Christ, and then forgive the person(s) that has done you wrong.

Also I want to encourage you to go to some of the leaders in your community or some of those close to you(with a close relationship with Jesus) and ask them to help you get through it. We are human, and it is okay to feel hurt, but it is not Jesus’ wish for you to be controlled by it. It is not His wish for you to let the devil get to you.

Jesus wishes to be there for you and to heal you from whatever you carry.

The healing may take time,

it may hurt,

but it will happen if you let Jesus in.

Begin a new life with Jesus by your side, today!

God bless you.

How God raises his children

I’ve heard it has been said that in the spiritual life in Christ, we all start out as newborns when we are saved. The old life is not only past, it is buried. Dead. We are born again, and start our lives the same way a newborn does.

A newborn is helpless at first, totally dependent on love, caring and practical help from the people around -preferably the parents. Gradually the baby can do more and more, and manage some things him or herself.

Three things are important to keep in mind about newborn and babies: for one, they have a personality of their own from the first day. Second, they seek social contact with persons close to them from day one. Third, as they grow in age, maturity and physically, they manage more and more of their own.

But children/teenagers WILL still need their inner circle of caring persons around them to guide them, to encourage, cheering them on in life, and to tell them when they are going the wrong way, or to intervene when something bad is ahead.

Children are born with curiosity(in grades that differs from child to child).  In their need to explore, they don’t see limitations and have yet to learn common sense through experience and reflection.

I often feel like I can’t get past the newborn stage in my spiritual growth. I’ve felt that I still -after three years- need to be fed milk, that I am dependent on my inner circle of people(parents =God, spiritual mother/mentor, and the christian community) to live in Christ. And then sometimes, like a night not long ago, I read or hear a verse or two from the bible I haven’t heard before, hear a preaching, or learn something new from someone in my circle.

My immediate reaction used to be: “Oh, no! I’ve lived like this for three years, why didn’t I know this? I should have known this…”etc. I immediately started judging myself. I am my own worst judge. But in that judgement I am not capable of changing my life. That judgement is keeping me from giving everything to God, and keeping me from total honesty and giving myself over to God. That judgement I put over myself, makes me want to hide from God.

I don’t know about anything more unhealthier than hiding from my Father, my Savior.

How could I have known this? I can’t learn everything at once. One of the many amazing and great things about God is that he gives me room to learn one thing at the time. He does not give us everything at once, because he knows we won’t handle it.

God let’s us take those baby steps(and so should I).

As a good Father, God wants us to lay all judgement, all worries, all that is on our shoulders –all that is  in our mental backpack– over to Him. Only then we can continue our spiritual growth like He wishes for us. To do that, I need to be honest with God -completely honest.

If it is something I feel, but can’t describe with words, I don’t have to figure it out on my own and then come to God after. God wants me to talk with Him about it, give it over, and then I am much better equipped to  first of all figure it out, and second, do something about it. Not alone. Always with God, and I promise(Jesus promises) that it will be a much lighter load, easier to carry. It might save us from a lot of pain.

 If you can’t tell even God you don’t have to. Those in Christ has been given the gift of speaking in tongues. Just feel what you feel and speak in tongues, and your soul will pour out whatever it is. Have you only gotten a few words or perhaps only one word in the language The Holy Spirit has given you? No problem. Just use that word. God will eventually give you more words, but He also understand perfectly what your soul says through that one word.

If you haven’t yet received that language, ask someone close to Jesus if they can pray for you, give you the spiritual baptism. After that, you need to try whatever comes to mind, even if it seems/sounds silly. Because it is not silly! It is powerful!

^{26 “}So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.” Romans 8:26(AMP)

I love to handle things myself and hates setbacks and defeat. But I don’t always see that having to handle things alone usually results in setbacks/defeat… I feel God is saying:

“Dear child of mine. I am waiting for you to tell me, ask me and talk to me so I can walk with you!”

I think I need to print this out and hang it on my bathroom wall so I can read it every day and remind myself of it, because thought it is so clear and obvious to me in this moment, we all need reminders along the way.

In my childhood I was a girl filled with fright. You can ask me what I was afraid of, and I can honestly answer you: “Everything!”. I still don’t watch important news(working on that one), because if I heard anything on the news, radio or from an adult conversation(or from other kids’ who had eavesdropped on adults speaking), you could be sure that I became afraid of whatever it was about.

I remember something about a dying man on TV, whose hands were shaking and that was a part of his disease. I started noticing that my hands sometimes were shaking teeny tiny bit, and I was convinced that I was now dying… I am sure you get the picture.

The point is, I tried to figure out of these things on my own, and two weeks was about the general time it took before my mom caught me being afraid all the time, and had gotten the answer “It’s nothing” too many times on her questions about me being worried about something. She called my “bluff” and convinced me to tell her what was troubling me. After a talk to my mom I wasn’t worried until something new came up(which was shortly after).

Had I only learned the connection “telling my mom=no more fears”, it could have saved me from a lot of worrying,  but I thought I needed to figure out things for myself. It’s really the same with God now. Just that I am grown up, and have different worries than when I was younger.

Tell God first!

And then let me tell you (and myself) a little secret you’re free to share:

God intended us to live close in community with other Christians who live close to God.

When we forget that we can go to God, someone can remind us(of course there are many others reasons God created us to live in close community with each other). To quote one of my close friends:

“God WANTS us to NEED each other, and even more of course to need HIM, but as parts of a body we need the other bits around us, closely all the time!”

Someone showed me a picture once:

Let say we had a string attached to us. What happens when we get closer to Jesus is that the strings would be tightened, and we would find our-self closer to each other.

Dare to take that step in openness.

Take a step closer to Jesus. Let him in.

And dare to invite someone in your christian community into a part of your life you’ve been hiding, or trying to handle on your own.

I am here at the finishline of letting fear get to me.

The line where I stop letting anything other than Jesus rule over me.

I’m finished.

Done.

I’m starting a new life with Jesus.

I am inviting Him in.

And I am inviting you to do the same.

We are your family.

With love,

Ava Sophie

It is the time of the week that I don’t seem to get right. Five minute Fridays, where I tend to arrive (a little) late! Anyway, I wish to honor Lisa Jo who started Five minute Fridays, kept it going for  four years. She is hosting her last Five minute Friday next week(next Friday from now), and giving the baton on to Kate Motaung.

 

About how dreams (terrifyingly) comes true

– My second letter to YOU

Do you know how important you are?

Do you know how important you are to me?

I don’t necessarily know you.

But I know that I have you to thank for being able to live parts of my dream.

I couldn’t do this without you.

When I read one of Jennifers encouraging “TellHisStory” posts, I was reminded of how my dream is coming true right now.

About how being

guided out of my comfort zone by the Shepherd

has driven me to take step after step.

And those steps has led me on the road towards my dream(s).

I was reminded that

I am already living my dream.

Partly because of YOU!

How does that make you feel? To play such a big role in a life to someone you may not even know, just by reading a blog, perhaps following a blog, and/or commenting on a blog? You may think that’s nothing, but for me it isn’t.

For me, it is truly a blessing!

By the way, that’s not the only thing that makes you special, it’s not the only thing that makes YOU important.

You see,

YOU are CALLED.

You are called…

…whether you know about it or not,

…whether you like it or not,

…whether you feel ready or not.

You are called by God to do something no one else can do the way you can do it.

You are called to live a life with Jesus,

to live a life with Christ as your Lord, 

where The Holy Spirit guides you, counsel you, challenges you,

and reveal his plans for you.

“God’s grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.” – Lysa TerKeurst, “Am I Messing Up My Kids?”

He wants to show you how special you are,

how you are a part of His GREAT plan,

that he has a unique plan just for you.

He is waiting for you to accept the life he has for you,

to accept who you are in Christ and accept who you are becoming in Christ.

This is HUGE!

Previously I’ve written this about my dream. Well, one of my dreams… I love to write this blog, and like I’ve written in my previous letter, I am on my way to fulfilling my dream of becoming an author. I may still have far to go, but I am on my way –step by step.

I’ve got other dreams. Many of them have been shaped lately. Many of them I didn’t even know I was dreaming of. Many of them seems unrealistic.

“Dare to make that difference. Take that step. Follow that dream.” ~ Holley Gerth

{All things are possible with God. Mark 10:27}

²⁶ But Jesus beheld them and said unto them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

I didn’t know that I dreamed about making a difference in young adults’ lives. I didn’t know that I dreamed about sharing my mistakes in my past, to prevent others to make the same as I did.

I realized I dreamed about helping young adults to get through the confusing years of puberty and step unto adulthood without having to face the consequences I had to face YEARS later because of my mistakes. It may sound like a parent who want to shape her kid into the dreams she never got to live. But it is not about that.

I am not perfect.

I have done so many huge mistakes in my past.

Mistakes that has led to agony for myself, agony for others.

Mistakes that comes with consequences bigger than I imagined.

Mistakes I have had to pay a price for.

I am redeemed. I am borne again.

I am forgiven. By GOD.

I don’t have to answer to my past mistakes anymore, because I am forgiven and given new life. My mistakes are forgotten by The One who gives life! But I still have to take the consequences. That’s life. That is how I know I won’t do the same mistakes again.

^{22 “}But now, being made free from sin and having become servants of God, ye have your fruit unto holiness and the end, everlasting life.” Romans 6: 22

Lately I have been dreaming of being able to help young adults to make the right choices. To stand strong through temptations, to understand what is right and wrong(and WHY). I want to contribute the Society, and serve God, by guiding young girls and boys to live up to be honorable and holy women and men of God. I want to teach them to have many counsellors

^{14 “}Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

I want to teach them to make good choices on their own. I want to teach them to see that they are not perfect -that they are not supposed to try to be perfect. I want to help them see that in Christ they are made perfect in him.

They are created beautiful just as they are,  but also created to live a life with Jesus and to flourish under Him.

I want them to see the gifts He has given them so they can use them to honor Him.

^{17 “}Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”

                                    James 1: 17

^{17 (May Jesus Christ, our God and Father)}comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work. 2 Thessalonians 2: 17

It is a little scary to put my dream into words. I have never before dreamed of being a teacher. Or being a guide. Most of all I dream of forming relations, where there can be trust, comfort, guidance, and lot’s of fellowship, God’s word, praise to God! Where there can be life.

I didn’t know until this moment that I dream of being a spiritual leader.

Recently I told someone,

“I don’t know what I have to offer, but I want to work with kids and young adults. I don’t know how or what, but I want to contribute. “

To another friend, a while before, I said about the kids and young adults in our area, “I don’t even know how to connect with them. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know any of them.” The answer she gave me was:

“Just be you”

I feel like I am on unknown ground. Like being in a new country (as a shy girl), not knowing how to get in touch with anyone. Not knowing whether I dare to take the first step. There is a long way from that start, to fulfilling what I dream of.  From that perspective I am dreaming BIG. For me, it seems unrealistic. Remember what Moses said when God told him His plan for Moses? He said,

“Who am I to do that? How can I do such a great thing? How can I speak your will to all of them? I am not a man of words. I am not good at what you ask of me.”

God promised Moses that He would be with him all the time. He promised to lay the words in his mouth. Moses just had to take the steps, and God would see to the rest. That is how it is with you and me, when we dream of something we don’t think possible in our own power.

¹¹ And the Lord said unto him, “Who hath made man’s mouth? Or who maketh the dumb or deaf, or the seeing or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?

¹² Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth and teach thee what thou shalt say.”Exodus 4: 11-12

But God knows what He has laid down in me and you. He knows what we can do in His power.

God knows what He can do through us.

And He loves it when He can dream for us,

and make the dreams he has laid on our hearts come true.

My task is to hold on to that dream, take one step in faith, and hold on to what God has given me. Hold it in my heart and believe that God can do huge things even through me.This is what God has showed me lately. He is showing you too. He wants you to know this.

Yes, you!

(Paul is praying that…)¹⁹ “to know the love of Christ, which surpasseth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.²⁰ Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” Ephesians 3:19-20

^37″For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1: 37

²⁷ “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there any thing too hard for Me?” Jeremiah 32:27

I’ve started living this dream as well. I’ve already been blessed with sharing some of the hard things I’ve been through. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to share some of my mistakes, WHY it was mistakes, and what consequences that followed. How I don’t wish for anyone to walk the same path I did.

It is truly a blessing to see how God can use my imperfections, what I am ashamed of, what I wish I never did or said to do something good.

^28″ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28.

I’ve gotten in touch with some amazing teenagers and young adults where I live, and been blessed with the “boldness” to be who I am, when I am with them.

It is truly a blessing to be able to Live your dream, as you take one step after another towards it!

Be bold!

Take that first step today.

Invite Jesus to be with you all the way!

And then, bloom!

With Love,

Ava Sophie

My letter to YOU

My dear friend

I may not know who you are, but I would really like to get to know you better.

However, what I DO know about YOU is that you carry a dream in your heart. I don’t know if it is a big dream, something you have been dreaming of your whole life, or something that has become your dream quite recently. I know nothing of that.

I don’t need to know that. It is not my place to do so. All I know, is that you have a dream, and that this dream is of great importance for you. That, my friend, matters to me! You see, today I have something really special I want to share with you.

I wonder, what would you say if I told you that you could fulfill a dream of yours? No matter how big, small, irrational, unreachable or insignificant you feel that your dream is. It doesn’t matter. What if I told you that you could have everything you need to make your dream come true?

Would you accept?

You may wonder if I am asking you a trick question…

The answer is yes, and no.

Yes, because I am not offering you a wand that can make your dream come true in a ‘swoosh’, or a magic spell that will fulfill your dream in a moment.

No, because it is true that I have an offer to you that may change your world,and that will give you what you need to fulfill your dream.

It may not be what you think you need in order to fulfill your dream, and may not be at the exact time you want it to come true. On your way to getting your dream come true, you may also change opinion on what your dream is. I’ve heard it has been said:

“Sometimes on your way to a dream you get lost and find a better one”.

An awful risk to take, isn’t it?

What I wanted to share with you is this:

“Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” Acts 2: 38

For those who are in Christ (which means: believe that Jesus Christ is God’s son and died on the cross, raised from His grave for you to have a relationship with God . It means saying Yes to following Jesus where he leads you, to give your life to Him),

God has given the promise:

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew 6:33

You need to follow your dream, and continue making it come true.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a time-out where you are not working towards it, or that you can’t change your dream on the way along…

But you need to not give it up!

I almost gave up my dream once. I had a dream that formed during elementary school: to become an author. My hope is to someday be able to have my dream as my job: so I can spend my days on “work” writing. Several of my teachers have encouraged me to chase that dream over the years.

When I was 14 or 15, I wrote a piece that was meant to be the start of a book, and sent it in to a publishing company. I got a letter in return, basically saying that what I had written wasn’t fit for the genre they needed, and that the language I used might not be professional enough. To me that was like saying:

“You are not suited to being an author, find something else to do!”.

I still loved writing, like I always had. Every time I tried to write something, I couldn’t get anything on the paper. I was afraid that what I wrote wouldn’t be good enough.

Since that was something I’d felt I was really good at,

my world fell apart.

Later I have struggled with the same feeling in all things I’ve done, steered by the thought: if I wasn’t good at writing when I thought I was, why believe that I am any good at this?

It took me 6 years before I started writing again, and even then it was ‘only’ a few lines with inspiration of what could one day become a story. I wrote these lines on my phone, and when my phone was stolen, I lost it, and with it the inspiration to write(again).

Finally, a year and a half ago, when we were given an assignment at school where we had to make our own blog just as practice, I made this blog and that’s when I started writing again.  It was just a coincidence (I don’t REALLY believe in coincidences) that started it then, I thought. By then I had carried the blog in me since I invited Jesus to be the boss of me. I hadn’t really thought about how I wanted it to be, and already I have changed some of my perspective and my vision for what I want this blog to be.

The vision that still is the same for this blog,

is that I want to share my journey with Jesus, and what I learn along the way. My hope is that it can be an encouragement for YOU.

If I could get ONE wish fulfilled with this blog it is that God may use me to express something He longs to tell YOU.

I may be far from getting my dream about becoming an author fulfilled, but I am on my way.

I am on my way,

despite the fact that I almost had a decade of ‘time-out’ in following my dream.

Someone once said:

”Don’t try harder, try smarter”.

Now I’m telling you the same.

Believe in yourself. Believe in what you can accomplish through God.

Remember:

Start the process by believing in Jesus and what he can do to you and your life.

Then follow your dream!

He will be able to do more in you than you ever think would be possible…

With love,

Ava Sophie

 

I wrote this post encouraged by Holley Gerth’s previous series on ‘God sized dreams’:

‘This step for your God-sized dream was to write a post entitled “A Letter to the God-sized Dreamers” telling your sisters why what they’re doing and who they’re becoming through this process is worth it–even on the hard days.’

Click on the button below and find out what her God Sized Dream series are all about:

Now Holley is Site Encourager and Contributing Author of the website www.godsizeddreams.com

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth

This post is re-published and edited.

If you are going through struggles…

 

…then this post is for you!

I’ve been through so many hard struggles in my life-or huge storms if you like. Before and after I invited Jesus into my life.

I’ve heard the saying:

Faith doesn’t make things easier. It makes things possible.

Have you heard that faith can move mountains?  That is a picture Jesus gives us to show us how powerful faith is. It is impossible to move mountains. Faith makes things possible. Because God is the one with the power. And the power lies within us from the moment we accept Jesus as our Savior. Because of what He dis for us at the cross, when He raised again.

And Jesus said unto them, “Because of your unbelief; for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, ‘Remove hence to yonder place,’ and it shall remove. And nothing shall be impossible unto you. Matthew 17:20

It helps to do what Jesus tells us to do, simply because it is given us to be used to bring forth God’s kingdom here on earth. Important sidetrack…

The point is(don’t you just love that part of a sentence?) that when I’ve been through difficult struggles after I met Jesus, I’ve had a hard time believing something the Bible  (God’s word) promises us…

That He will turn everything in our lives into something good.

Make beauty out of ashes…

Because in the middle of that struggle, it is sometimes impossible for me to see how ANYTHING good can be made out of it.

One of the things I LOVE about my husband(that sometimes annoys me as well), is if I ever doubt something (and that I do) he says “But God has said…” and then he reminds me of God’s word and His promises.

So here I am to remind you of God’s promise in your struggles, and to testify that God keeps his promises.

When I was pregnant and gave birth to my child more than five years ago, it was such a hard time for me in so many ways that I can still catch myself in worrying how it would be if I were to get pregnant again. Though I dream of more children, I don’t feel ready just yet. I’ve wondered many times how on earth God could make something positive out of it.

God knows me, He knows you. He knows what you need to hear from me and what I need to hear from you. He also know when I need to tell who what, because He knows when who is ready to listen…

This Fall God used my very hard and difficult experience with pregnancy and birth to encourage women to be honest about how they feel, to reach out and see that it is okay to ask for help when it is needed–whether the need is for  someone to borrow their child an hour so mommy can sleep, or it is to see a psychiatrist to help them through a depression.

My story could encourage women to see that it is okay not to be overwhelmed with happiness after birth. It is okay to be exhausted, tired, scared, it is okay to not have a clue how you are going to take care of the baby.  And it is also okay to feel that you can manage everything, to be way up in pink clouds never-been-so-in-love-with-any-being-on-the-planet-before-crush on your child. But no matter what, it is okay to be honest and share your experience with someone.

God used my experience to encourage other women!

How cool is that?!

I also recently discovered that my painful past with boys, sex, crushes and my learn-the-hard-way-path to finding true love(and recognizing it) could be used to lead others on the right path.

I lost my virginity at fifteen to a boy who said he also wanted to wait with sex until marriage. He lied. When he put pressure on me, things got tempting and exiting, and I suddenly had no idea why I was supposed to wait with sex until marriage, that’s when.

I had just heard that’s what you’re supposed to do. Don’t have sex until you’re married. I didn’t know why. I just wanted to be the good girl who did what she was supposed to. Until I was tempted and scared at the same time, and didn’t know how to say no to this boy. Now I know why.

I got to share (a teensy bit embarrassed) my painfully learned lessons of why in front of a crowd of some amazing young adults. I am pretty sure they were embarrassed too, but they didn’t laugh. Because I got to share God’s vision and love behind the places where The Bible says that sex is meant for the marriage.

God used what I really hoped I never would have to talk aloud about.  I was ashamed, and wished to be one of those who’s been Christians all their life and didn’t do the stupid mistakes as I did.

It took a while before I stopped condemning myself.

And when I did,

God shoved me that I was pure, holy, clean and loved as I am.

That all of that was forgotten for Him.

And then he shoved me His endless, unconditional love…

….and when I had figured out the most basic important things about being God’s child(being loved),

He showed me how to make beauty out of the ashes,

and how He can use my weaknesses and make it strengths.

He WILL do the same to you.

With love,

Ava Sophie

Joining Jennifer Dukes Lee over at Tell His Story: