I’ve heard it has been said that in the spiritual life in Christ, we all start out as newborns when we are saved. The old life is not only past, it is buried. Dead. We are born again, and start our lives the same way a newborn does.
A newborn is helpless at first, totally dependent on love, caring and practical help from the people around -preferably the parents. Gradually the baby can do more and more, and manage some things him or herself.
Three things are important to keep in mind about newborn and babies: for one, they have a personality of their own from the first day. Second, they seek social contact with persons close to them from day one. Third, as they grow in age, maturity and physically, they manage more and more of their own.
But children/teenagers WILL still need their inner circle of caring persons around them to guide them, to encourage, cheering them on in life, and to tell them when they are going the wrong way, or to intervene when something bad is ahead.
Children are born with curiosity(in grades that differs from child to child). In their need to explore, they don’t see limitations and have yet to learn common sense through experience and reflection.
I often feel like I can’t get past the newborn stage in my spiritual growth. I’ve felt that I still -after three years- need to be fed milk, that I am dependent on my inner circle of people(parents =God, spiritual mother/mentor, and the christian community) to live in Christ. And then sometimes, like a night not long ago, I read or hear a verse or two from the bible I haven’t heard before, hear a preaching, or learn something new from someone in my circle.
My immediate reaction used to be: “Oh, no! I’ve lived like this for three years, why didn’t I know this? I should have known this…”etc. I immediately started judging myself. I am my own worst judge. But in that judgement I am not capable of changing my life. That judgement is keeping me from giving everything to God, and keeping me from total honesty and giving myself over to God. That judgement I put over myself, makes me want to hide from God.
I don’t know about anything more unhealthier than hiding from my Father, my Savior.
How could I have known this? I can’t learn everything at once. One of the many amazing and great things about God is that he gives me room to learn one thing at the time. He does not give us everything at once, because he knows we won’t handle it.
God let’s us take those baby steps(and so should I).
As a good Father, God wants us to lay all judgement, all worries, all that is on our shoulders –all that is in our mental backpack– over to Him. Only then we can continue our spiritual growth like He wishes for us. To do that, I need to be honest with God -completely honest.
If it is something I feel, but can’t describe with words, I don’t have to figure it out on my own and then come to God after. God wants me to talk with Him about it, give it over, and then I am much better equipped to first of all figure it out, and second, do something about it. Not alone. Always with God, and I promise(Jesus promises) that it will be a much lighter load, easier to carry. It might save us from a lot of pain.
If you can’t tell even God you don’t have to. Those in Christ has been given the gift of speaking in tongues. Just feel what you feel and speak in tongues, and your soul will pour out whatever it is. Have you only gotten a few words or perhaps only one word in the language The Holy Spirit has given you? No problem. Just use that word. God will eventually give you more words, but He also understand perfectly what your soul says through that one word.
If you haven’t yet received that language, ask someone close to Jesus if they can pray for you, give you the spiritual baptism. After that, you need to try whatever comes to mind, even if it seems/sounds silly. Because it is not silly! It is powerful!
26 “So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.” Romans 8:26(AMP)
I love to handle things myself and hates setbacks and defeat. But I don’t always see that having to handle things alone usually results in setbacks/defeat… I feel God is saying:
“Dear child of mine. I am waiting for you to tell me, ask me and talk to me so I can walk with you!”
I think I need to print this out and hang it on my bathroom wall so I can read it every day and remind myself of it, because thought it is so clear and obvious to me in this moment, we all need reminders along the way.
In my childhood I was a girl filled with fright. You can ask me what I was afraid of, and I can honestly answer you: “Everything!”. I still don’t watch important news(working on that one), because if I heard anything on the news, radio or from an adult conversation(or from other kids’ who had eavesdropped on adults speaking), you could be sure that I became afraid of whatever it was about.
I remember something about a dying man on TV, whose hands were shaking and that was a part of his disease. I started noticing that my hands sometimes were shaking teeny tiny bit, and I was convinced that I was now dying… I am sure you get the picture.
The point is, I tried to figure out of these things on my own, and two weeks was about the general time it took before my mom caught me being afraid all the time, and had gotten the answer “It’s nothing” too many times on her questions about me being worried about something. She called my “bluff” and convinced me to tell her what was troubling me. After a talk to my mom I wasn’t worried until something new came up(which was shortly after).
Had I only learned the connection “telling my mom=no more fears”, it could have saved me from a lot of worrying, but I thought I needed to figure out things for myself. It’s really the same with God now. Just that I am grown up, and have different worries than when I was younger.
Tell God first!
And then let me tell you (and myself) a little secret you’re free to share:
God intended us to live close in community with other Christians who live close to God.
When we forget that we can go to God, someone can remind us(of course there are many others reasons God created us to live in close community with each other). To quote one of my close friends:
“God WANTS us to NEED each other, and even more of course to need HIM, but as parts of a body we need the other bits around us, closely all the time!”
Someone showed me a picture once:
Let say we had a string attached to us. What happens when we get closer to Jesus is that the strings would be tightened, and we would find our-self closer to each other.
Dare to take that step in openness.
Take a step closer to Jesus. Let him in.
And dare to invite someone in your christian community into a part of your life you’ve been hiding, or trying to handle on your own.
I am here at the finishline of letting fear get to me.
The line where I stop letting anything other than Jesus rule over me.
I’m starting a new life with Jesus.
I am inviting Him in.
And I am inviting you to do the same.
We are your family.
It is the time of the week that I don’t seem to get right. Five minute Fridays, where I tend to arrive (a little) late! Anyway, I wish to honor Lisa Jo who started Five minute Fridays, kept it going for four years. She is hosting her last Five minute Friday next week(next Friday from now), and giving the baton on to Kate Motaung.