For the questions standing unanswered

Why does God allow murder?

Why does He allow suffering?

Why does He allow bad things to happen to good people, and good things to bad people?

Why does he allow accidents to end with death?

Why does He allow what happened to me?

Why does he allow …?

I am sure we all have asked some difficult, BIG questions at one point in our lives. They are difficult, because there really are no answers to them. I understand how it feels like when all you can see is, “how can God be just, when He allows such things?”

Tanya Anurag asked some BIG questions a few weeks back, and I thought it was so great of her to end her post with:

“BUT He(GOD) has His own plans to FINISH it- the Master Plans! The plans we cannot question!”

I think it is only natural for us humans to question things, we seek understanding and knowledge, and I think it is OK to question God sometimes too. As humans we will never be perfect, not even in our faith.

“Thank you that you don’t condemn us for our humanity but instead hold us until we can move forward again.” -Holley Gerth

But I think it can be unhealthy to ponder these questions too long and give them too much room. I am thinking too much room is when you don’t get peace because of some questions NAGGING you and poking you, taking you away from your faith.

I believe that there is great comfort for those mourning: if they seek the Lord, they will be comforted. I believe that even though we can get angry at God sometimes, the only way to heal our wounds is to turn to God.

18 “I have seen his [willful] ways, but I will heal him; I will lead him also and will recompense him and restore comfort to him and to those who mourn for him.

19 Peace, peace, to him who is far off [both Jew and Gentile] and to him who is near! says the Lord; I create the fruit of his lips, and I will heal him [make his lips blossom anew with speech in thankful praise].”

Isaiah 57:18-19

It is OK to tell God your angry at Him. He loves it when we share our whole lives with Him, so He can participate. And He knows we can be angry, He created us with those feelings. But more than anything He wants us to turn to Him, and not from Him, when those feelings and thoughts and questions comes.

I also believe that there are certain things God can’t intervene with, because of our free will. Sometimes He can’t intervene, because I am not the only one with free will, and everybody don’t have the same way of giving my free will to Him, as I do. And even though I give my life to Him, and let Him steer me, I still make mistakes, because I fail to listen.

When “bad” people decides to do bad things, I believe God is sometimes hindered to intervene, because of the free will He has given us all -because He loves us so much! The same goes for “good people” doing bad things.

I don’t believe God separates us from each other with labels like “good” and “bad”.

Because we all do bad stuff.

We all sin.

God IS love, and can only act lovingly.

He cannot act against Himself.

But there is an enemy in the world who does all in his power to convince us and show us that God is not just good, that God is not loving, that God is not JUST.

But God is just.

We sort of placed ourselves in this situation -when Adam and Eve were disobedient in Eden. We are facing the consequences for that here on earth, but that’s where God’s everlasting love comes in again. That’s why He sent his only son to SAVE us from those consequences. To save us, so we can get an eternity in fellowship with our loving creator.

All we have to do is believe.

And trust.

Ava Sophie

Ava Sophie

I am sure you know this, but I just want to share with you what perspective I’ve gotten after having struggled with those kinds of questions.

All the bad started when we sought knowledge in Eden. And still we seek knowledge, and that is usually a good thing, until we reach a certain point. We are promised that if we seek God first, we will be given all else in return. All God really wants for us is to have fellowship with us, in Eden, and now.

Because He knows that that is what is BEST for us!

To have all knowledge is not what is best for us,

being with Him is.

Believe me, I am the type of girl that don’t like to accept anything until I understand it;-) Knowledge. Which is why faith IS hard.

We need to take a leap of faith, not knowing all there is to know.

But I promise you, He WILL catch you, and give you all you need;-)

If you’re carrying any unanswered, difficult questions, there is only one who can answer them. Only God can answer the hard questions. Some things we won’t get answer to until He comes to take us home. But it is important to be honest with ourselves and God -to acknowledge those questions and feelings, and be talk about it!

“we both know there’s one thing worse than the question that can’t be answered. It’s the question that was never asked.” Jennifer Dukes Lee

For Jennifer, it was the unanswered questions she dared to ask that saved her faith. If you want to read about it, click on the link above.

“Dear Lord, I pray for those asking questions that won’t get an answer in this life, may you fill their hearts with peace and let them feel your love, fill them up with your love! I pray for those asking difficult questions with difficult answers, May you give their soul rest, peace and grace to lay the questions with no answer yet away. May you lead to them someone with an answer, those that seek an answer You can give. I pray for all those who have lost someone. Comfort them. Be with them. Let them feel your presence, know that you are there, show them that they can come to you to get all that they need.

I pray for those who want this life to end, who is ready to come home with you, may you be with them all the time they are waiting, give them peace in their hearts, and fill them with your love.

I pray for all people having doubts about you and those who can’t see the true you because the enemy is telling lies about you. Protect their hearts and thoughts against lies and hurt! Lead them to the truth, heal their hurts and heal their wounds. In Jesus name, amen!”

Kristen Welch writes about how telling someone her question, and brokenness, be met with an genuine interest made a difference in her life. She says:

“I let her in. And she tasted my brokenness. As I wiped my tears and apologized for my awkward answer slash confession, she asked me what I wanted to happen. How did I want God to answer this big question mark in my life?”

I wrote this several days ago, now I am adding my Five minute Friday contribute below:

Ava Sophie

Ava Sophie

Go:

Last night I asked a friend a question that has been nagging me, one I thought I had made peace with, but reappeared. She really wanted to know how I was, and I told her the ugly truth. She really listened.

She didn’t have the right answers.

She didn’t say much, but she listened.

She said she was right there with me.

That I am not alone.

She reminded me of Jesus’ love.

That is powerful!

I think I can be so bold to say that it is more powerful than giving the answer to my question. Because knowledge and answers is not always the most important.)

Let’s not put our lives on hold while waiting for answers. Let us pray instead

-the prayer Jesus taught us:

9″ Pray, therefore, like this: Our Father Who is in heaven, hallowed (kept holy) be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven ([a]left, remitted, and let go of the debts, and have [b]given up resentment against) our debtors.

13 And lead (bring) us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen”.

-Matthew 6:9-13

“Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

God is the one to change the world, and He will do it through you if you let Him in.

Even when it is messy.
Even when it is ugly inside.

Stop.

With love,

Ava Sophie


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About how dreams (terrifyingly) comes true

– My second letter to YOU

Do you know how important you are?

Do you know how important you are to me?

I don’t necessarily know you.

But I know that I have you to thank for being able to live parts of my dream.

I couldn’t do this without you.

When I read one of Jennifers encouraging “TellHisStory” posts, I was reminded of how my dream is coming true right now.

About how being

guided out of my comfort zone by the Shepherd

has driven me to take step after step.

And those steps has led me on the road towards my dream(s).

I was reminded that

I am already living my dream.

Partly because of YOU!

How does that make you feel? To play such a big role in a life to someone you may not even know, just by reading a blog, perhaps following a blog, and/or commenting on a blog? You may think that’s nothing, but for me it isn’t.

For me, it is truly a blessing!

By the way, that’s not the only thing that makes you special, it’s not the only thing that makes YOU important.

You see,

YOU are CALLED.

You are called…

…whether you know about it or not,

…whether you like it or not,

…whether you feel ready or not.

How dreams come true

You are called by God to do something no one else can do the way you can do it.

You are called to live a life with Jesus,

to live a life with Christ as your Lord

where The Holy Spirit guides you, counsel you, challenges you,

and reveal his plans for you.

“God’s grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.” Lysa TerKeurst, “Am I Messing Up My Kids?”

He wants to show you how special you are,

how you are a part of His GREAT plan,
that he has a unique plan just for you.
He is waiting for you to accept the life he has for you,
to accept who you are in Christ and accept who you are becoming in Christ.

This is HUGE!

Previously I’ve written this about my dream. Well, one of my dreams… I love to write this blog, and like I’ve written in my previous letter, I am on my way to fulfilling my dream of becoming an author. I may still have far to go, but I am on my way –step by step.

I’ve got other dreams. Many of them have been shaped lately. Many of them I didn’t even know I was dreaming of. Many of them seems unrealistic.

“Dare to make that difference. Take that step. Follow that dream.” ~ Holley Gerth

{All things are possible with God. Mark 10:27}

26 But Jesus beheld them and said unto them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

I didn’t know that I dreamed about making a difference in young adults’ lives. I didn’t know that I dreamed about sharing my mistakes in my past, to prevent others to make the same as I did.

I realized I dreamed about helping young adults to get through the confusing years of puberty and step unto adulthood without having to face the consequences I had to face YEARS later because of my mistakes. It may sound like a parent who want to shape her kid into the dreams she never got to live. But it is not about that.

I am not perfect.

I have done so many huge mistakes in my past.

Mistakes that has led to agony for myself, agony for others.

Mistakes that comes with consequences bigger than I imagined.

Mistakes I have had to pay a price for.

I am redeemed. I am borne again.

I am forgiven. By GOD.

I don’t have to answer to my past mistakes anymore, because I am forgiven and given new life. My mistakes are forgotten by The One who gives life! But I still have to take the consequences. That’s life. That is how I know I won’t do the same mistakes again.

22 “But now, being made free from sin and having become servants of God, ye have your fruit unto holiness and the end, everlasting life.” Romans 6: 22

Lately I have been dreaming of being able to help young adults to make the right choices. To stand strong through temptations, to understand what is right and wrong(and WHY). I want to contribute the Society, and serve God, by guiding young girls and boys to live up to be honorable and holy women and men of God. I want to teach them to have many counsellors

14 “Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

I want to teach them to make good choices on their own. I want to teach them to see that they are not perfect -that they are not supposed to try to be perfect. I want to help them see that in Christ they are made perfect in him.

They are created beautiful just as they are,  but also created to live a life with Jesus and to flourish under Him.
I want them to see the gifts He has given them so they can use them to honor Him.
17 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”
                                    James 1: 17
17 (May Jesus Christ, our God and Father)comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work. 2 Thessalonians 2: 17

It is a little scary to put my dream into words. I have never before dreamed of being a teacher. Or being a guide. Most of all I dream of forming relations, where there can be trust, comfort, guidance, and lot’s of fellowship, God’s word, praise to God! Where there can be life.

I didn’t know until this moment that I dream of being a spiritual leader.

Recently I told someone,

“I don’t know what I have to offer, but I want to work with kids and young adults. I don’t know how or what, but I want to contribute. “

To another friend, a while before, I said about the kids and young adults in our area, “I don’t even know how to connect with them. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know any of them.” The answer she gave me was:

“Just be you”

I feel like I am on unknown ground. Like being in a new country (as a shy girl), not knowing how to get in touch with anyone. Not knowing whether I dare to take the first step. There is a long way from that start, to fulfilling what I dream of.  From that perspective I am dreaming BIG. For me, it seems unrealistic. Remember what Moses said when God told him His plan for Moses? He said,

“Who am I to do that? How can I do such a great thing? How can I speak your will to all of them? I am not a man of words. I am not good at what you ask of me.”

God promised Moses that He would be with him all the time. He promised to lay the words in his mouth. Moses just had to take the steps, and God would see to the rest. That is how it is with you and me, when we dream of something we don’t think possible in our own power.

11 And the Lord said unto him, “Who hath made man’s mouth? Or who maketh the dumb or deaf, or the seeing or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?

12 Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth and teach thee what thou shalt say.”Exodus 4: 11-12

But God knows what He has laid down in me and you. He knows what we can do in His power.

God knows what He can do through us.

And He loves it when He can dream for us,

and make the dreams he has laid on our hearts come true.

My task is to hold on to that dream, take one step in faith, and hold on to what God has given me. Hold it in my heart and believe that God can do huge things even through me.This is what God has showed me lately. He is showing you too. He wants you to know this.

Yes, you!

(Paul is praying that…)19 “to know the love of Christ, which surpasseth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.20 Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” Ephesians 3:19-20

37″For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1: 37

27 “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there any thing too hard for Me?” Jeremiah 32:27

I’ve started living this dream as well. I’ve already been blessed with sharing some of the hard things I’ve been through. I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to share some of my mistakes, WHY it was mistakes, and what consequences that followed. How I don’t wish for anyone to walk the same path I did.

It is truly a blessing to see how God can use my imperfections, what I am ashamed of, what I wish I never did or said to do something good.

28″ And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.Romans 8:28.

I’ve gotten in touch with some amazing teenagers and young adults where I live, and been blessed with the “boldness” to be who I am, when I am with them.
It is truly a blessing to be able to Live your dream, as you take one step after another towards it!

Be bold!

Take that first step today.

Invite Jesus to be with you all the way!

And then, bloom!

With Love,

Ava Sophie

Five Minute Friday
Blossom Bunkhouse

What do you fight for?

The last six months I’ve been fighting.
I’ve been fighting to keep my head above water.
It sounds like dead or life situations,
but it’s not really about dead or life.
It has felt that way, though.

What do you fight for

You see, something has been ”off” with my health, and I’ve been fighting against my health to manage everything at school, at home with my family, with relations, and being a mom. I haven’t been able to live up to anyone’s expectations or demands: others expectations, demands, and MY expectations and demands.

Why?

Because I’ve had this picture in my mind that if I don’t, everything will fall apart.

If I don't...Everything will fall apart

Witch is, in fact, an illusion. I’ve thought of this illusion as a truth, when it was not. I felt that I had no choice but to meet these expectations, demands.

I know it is wrong (and not just with my common sense and with my mind, but with all of me). I sought God for answers, a way out, healing so I can be better. I’ve cried out, I’ve been angry, I’ve been desperate, and I’ve been so tired that I thought I couldn’t even form words together in a prayer –I’ve just let myself be in the Lords presence. But still, I’ve felt that there’s been no answer from up above.

I’ve felt abandoned, less worthy and all –just because of an illusion that I’ve put my trust in. Where I saw huge Goliath’s raising one after another before me, it surely seemed impossible.Like I started this post with: “I fought against my health to manage everything.”

But…

…I believe that God gives us strength beyond human resources if we ask for it. I also believe that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle

…I believe that he never leaves our side, even though it may feel like it sometimes

…I also believe that God always listen to us, with no exceptions.

…I believe that He answers all prayers, but I also believe that the answer won’t always be yes –for our own good.

But I know God has not said it will always be easy. He has said that it sometimes will be hard, but he will also guide us through it.

Sometimes that means He won’t take the pain or the challenges away, but he will help us get through it, or He will learn us to make choices, so we learn to get through life.

If our Lord always take the challenges away or always tells us what’s the right thing to do, we will never learn to be confident. We will never learn to make the right choices, and perhaps we will never learn to listen to what God says, or to understand what way He has to show you and me.

God speaks in many different ways, and He also speaks differently to each and one of us. We won’t learn to stop, tune out all that is happening around us, realize we are totally dependent on God, and really listen to what he has to tell to us; to give Him the chance to reveal Himself to us.

My challenge isn’t gone in any way. But I have taken a decision, several actually:

1. I’ve decided to pause, tune out the world to listen to my God.

In my situation, that pause includes taking a leave of absence from school, because the last 4 months (at least) I’ve forgotten my priorities. I’ve put school in front of every other priority. I’ve prioritized school before God, before my health (which have been screaming to me for a long time now), before my marriage, before my family, and before absolutely everything. Which has resulted in a totally empty fuel tank.

2. I set my eyes on God, and not on the world anymore. It has to do with my attitude.

I can let myself drown in all the worlds complaint over me, MY complaints over what I can’t achieve, what “everyone else” seem to achieve, OR I can look at what God says about me, about the world and really focus on doing HIS will. That way I will be able to really listen to what His plans over my life is. Because there will be no better plan than that one, the one He has for me.

3. I’ve decided to treat myself as His temple,

which I haven’t at all in a long time. I am His bride, together with my sisters and brothers, and I need to prepare myself for that. To do that I have to start taking care of my self again. That way I will also be better able to nourish my marriage, take care for my family after God’s will, and other relations.

4. I want to get closer to God.

And of course there are lots of ways to do that, which I have described more in the “Are YOU in Christ”-series.

This is not any New Years resolution or  a list full of practical things to do to improve my life for myself or “Now I’m going to change that, and that and that, because THEN my life will be perfect”. The grass may always look greener on the other side, and it easy to never feel happy or grateful if one keeps thinking that way.

No, this is a change of attitude and a change of view that has already happened in me.

I saw the world with new eyes

I have set my eyes and trust to God (again), and stopped depending on myself.

It is not an attitude I will get, or will work on changing. It is something that has changed in me already, that I will work on keeping.

And when that changed, I saw the world with new eyes.

It is as different as night and day. I still have good days and bad days. I have plenty of days that I feel I can’t get out of bed, but somehow I still do (it just take a little more time).

I’ve welcomed God’s mercy. I can just be held.

I don’t have more energy than before, but I am using my little energy where it should be used. I’m released from my chains, I am preapproved, and I am happy! But with this new view, a lot of practical changes will follow. It’s only natural.

When a person ask Jesus into his or her life, it is impossible to do that without it being followed by many changes in that life.
It’s because The Holy Spirit lives in us and changes us every minute, every hour, every day of our lives.

 

It’s just not so easy to notice all of those changes when you’re in the middle of it ;)

 

I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five minute Friday,

and Jenifer Dukes Lee’s Tell His Story this week.

Click on the buttuns to find out more, or to join:

Five Minute Friday

When life GOES according to your plan(and God’s plan)…

…but you discover it is not what you wanted.

I have a plan.

A plan for my life.

I have a plan for my family and for my child.

I have plans for the future.

Some of the plans are of my own designs, some of the plans were made based on what I believe is God who has shown a tiny little brick of HIS plan for my life, which is the basis for deciding that plan. Not that I necessarily understand that tiny little brick of a plan…

And some plans are carefully planned with my husband and other close ones that has a say in my life.

This week, life went according to my plan.

And I sort of got confirmation that it for some reason was a part of God’s plan as well. Which is great!

This week, life went in favor of a plan that my husband and I take very seriously, because we’re thinking about the future. Which is great!

We just got married, I study full time and have a kid from an earlier relationship(before I met Jesus), and my husband has a need of change in the job situation because of physical health, the economic, and to finally be able to have the priorities God has recommended for us: God, family and THEN work.

I am really tired, he is really tired and we find ourselves struggling with getting the everyday-life to come around in a GOOD way… So for us, it is only natural to decide to wait a few(or more) years before starting expanding our family.

But…

Thing is, for a few weeks I have had more than five different signs that there might be family expansion on the way. To be honest, it really wouldn’t be a good thing right now because of the situation. And to be honest, I didn’t really think that the test would be positive. But, It is a little hard not to notice all of those signs, so we took a test to be sure(we took a blood sample to be 100% sure).

The test was negative. Which is great!

It’s just…

I don’t feel great.

I feel sad. I feel that I lost something, that wasn’t even there to begin with.

When life goes according to your plan(and God's plan)...But you discover it is not what you wanted.

When life goes according to your plan(and God’s plan)…But you discover it is not what you wanted.

Only for a moment I asked God “why?”, before I realized all the good reasons for why. I also realized that in our situation right now(and at least three years ahead), this is a blessing. But it doesn’t feel like a blessing. I feel sad. And for two days I haven’t been able to “shake off” my sadness. My comfort is (no matter how ridiculous this mourning of mine feels):

Blessed are they that mourn,

for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

A lesson from Jesus

Someone have pointed out that Jesus said to his disciples before crossing a lake, “We’ll cross over”. During the crossing, the disciples get scared and are sure that the boat will go under. The point is that Jesus pointed out the heading, he never said it would be easy, but he didn’t say we’ll go under. He said:

We will cross over.

I also take comfort in that he said “we”. He is with us all the time, and he will make sure we won’t go under in our trials. Just like he were with the disciples and made sure they didn’t go under(DESPITE their lack of faith).

A blessing

I figure that I AM blessed to have confirmation that God’s plan matches mine, that I am blessed with less worries in this time when I feel overwhelmed by tiredness and all that has to be done for the everyday to come around, that Jesus is not only with me, but also WILL comfort me.

I am blessed that no matter how ridiculous my sorrows feels to me, there is nothing too small or too big for my savior Jesus Christ.

I am blessed to have a husband that understands my sorrow even though he doesn’t feel ready for bringing a baby to life just yet, blessed to have people around me to remind me of the scripture and show me new perspectives. I am blessed.

And it is okay for me to feel the sadness I feel for a while. It is okay to mourn, even for something that was never there.

It is okay to bring everything to Jesus.

He want’s us to.

 

I wrote this post months ago, but I was not ready to share it. However, I want to encorage those that mourn for something. It is okay to mourn(as long as we don’t get lost in the mourning process). It is also a great opportunity to share your thoughts with Jesus, invite Him in and let Him heal you.

You were never meant to carry anything alone.

With Love,

Ava Sophie

Linking up with Jennifer Dukes Lee where we share stories of how God has changed us.

Paint

Paint is a difficult word for me, because it’s impossible to choose WHAT to write about the topic in just five minutes(beware, it might take a little longer)…

I’m writing about this weeks one word prompt hosted weekly, every Friday by Lisa-Jo Baker, where lots of brave writers join in to write for five minutes flat, without editing or backtracking.

Go:

When I read the word paint it is like reading about me.

I am painted and I do paint.

It’s like reading about all my life, from an early age until this day. Because I do paint.

But most importantly I’m painted.

Last week, Kim over at Dappled Things shared a post from 5 of her friends, where Steph wrote about how we are a blank page in the book that is our lives, and how God writes our story. I thought it was a beautiful image, and it really made me think.

 

I see another image…

Where I am a canvas.

Where I am not a blank canvas, because I have my history.

In my history I’ve done stupid and bad things, and I’ve done good things.

After I met Jesus, got baptized and let He be the boss of my life, my canvas was made blank. Because when I was baptized, I died with Jesus, got a new life and a new identity in Christ.

But Jesus painted back those bits and pieces from my past that was me– the way he intended me to be.

avasophie.wordpress.com

avasophie.wordpress.com

He also keep painting new things on the canvas that is me. Sometimes He paint over something to make new, even more beautiful pieces of me. And all along the way, God sees me as perfect, because He sees me through my painter.

At the same time I am so highly loved that he can’t stop painting me until He has fulfilled His good work in me. It means I will be a painting with many layers.

(I, Paul, am)being confident of this very thing, that He who hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the Day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6.

 

YOU were beautifully painted too, you know.

Lets shout for joy to the Lord, burst into jubilant song with music!Psalm 98:4

To celebrate the beautiful picture He is making out of the Canvas that is us!

To celebrate the life He has given!

To celebrate The Lord, Jesus Christ

Blessings

-Ava Sophie
Five Minute Friday

Belong

This post was supposed to be posted almost two weeks ago, with the Five Minute Friday writers at Lisa-Jo Bakers link up. Since it was already written(only forgot to post it, in the summer-haze), I couldn’t just not post it, though I know I am too late with the link up.

Go:

Did you know you can belong somewhere even though it feels so wrong? Did you know that sometimes that’s exactly when you know that you belong…when that’s the place you don’t want to be?

The devil wants to do everything in his power to get you off track. He will do everything in his power to spoil the plan God has for you, to confuse you, to make you listen to the wrong voices, etc. He has power, you know. But it is so limited power that all he can do is to scare you, convince you that you’re not made for this job, that you are not good enough, to break you down. That is all he can hope to do, because the Lord Jesus Christ has already won, and you and me have already won with him. So, if you don’t let him get to you he has no power whatsoever!

Sadly, Ava Sophie has a habit of letting the devil get to her. She struggles with a mission. A mission she doesn’t want to be on. Not because she doesn’t like the mission. She is convinced that she is not doing a good job, she can’t understand why she has been given this mission, because, surely someone else must be better fitted for the task. It is a mission where it is sort of unspeakable to talk about not wanting the task. In Society where it is not seen as a big deal to have this task, it is difficult to talk about feeling you’re not handling it well. There are so many people that make it seem simple, and there are so many people that see it as a blessing(and a blessing only it seems). Ava Sophie sees how it can be a blessing. But most of the time she can only see how she is failing. Not because she is a perfectionist, but simply because she cant handle causing those around her pain.

The mission Ava Sophie has been given is motherhood. It is a mission she doesn’t feel belongs to her. It is a mission she feels she is failing in. Which is why she wants to run from it. Even that thought gives her guilt that she has to carry on her shoulders. How is she supposed to handle any of this? Being a mother, carrying the guilt? The answer is: “she is not supposed to”.

This mission is given her, because she is the right person to raise her daughter. She is the right person to protect her daughter. She is the right person to handle the situations interacting with her daughter, whether it is about fear, love, passion, stubbornness, tantrums, etc. She is the right person to give this girl love, comfort and cheer her on in her life. Ava Sophie is the chosen one for the motherhood job given her. Sometimes being chosen is hard. Sometimes it comes easy. She bets that no chosen ones has ever gotten through what they’re chosen for without hard work, tears, and doubt (If so, please contact Ava Sophie…). But most definitely no chosen one can look back and not see happy moments where they wanted nothing else in those moments. Ava Sophie included.

God told her yesterday,

“I have chosen you for this. You are the only one for this job. But you don’t have to do this alone. You were never meant to. I am here to carry you when you are too tired to walk. I am here to take your burdens away from you. And I am here to tell you to put down that burden you are carrying. It doesn’t belong there. But, this task does belong to you. And you belong here, where I have led you. You belong here with the people I have placed you with. This is where you belong. And you WILL see what a blessing it is. Just around the time when you will let me help, and stop carrying it all on your own.”

Ava Sophie is not the type to surrender right away, she needs to think it over, test it, and be sure it is right, even when it is God speaking. She told God that if this really were from him, He needed to fill her with his peace. She slept on it. Peace woke her up and she once again let go of it all, giving it to God, embracing her “mission”.

STOP.

So, have you figured out where YOU belong? Are you running away from it like Ava Sophie, or embracing it? Either way, God is there with you, waiting for you to take your next step. Have you gone through a similar process? Would you like to share your story with me? I would love to listen!

(Sort of) joining Lisa-Jo baker for her five minute Friday link up, writing for only 40 minutes this time… I guess that is progress(please help cheering me on) ;)

Five Minute Friday

Five-minute Friday: Song

GO:

Just as I love writing, I also love singing(not so brave singing in public, but try walking into my home unannounced WITHOUT hearing me sing…). I love listening to music, can easily sit for hours just enjoying. I love reading, but can’t read a page without some music in the background. I am also one of those who can’t concentrate without music in the room(exams are a challenge for me on that one). From time to time, after I started to seek God(didn’t yet have faith), I made a few songs

The first month or two after I asked Jesus in to my life, I hummed on a few lines. They stuck with me all summer and goes like this:

Oh, Jesus, my lord

You saved me, and gave me everything

And more to come

And more to come

Later, when things got hard I gave a few more lines to God:

I come before you

with my load,  can’t carry anymore

Can’t carry no more

Please help me, Lord

The answer was:

You came to me and said

My child, I will not give you  more

Than you can bear

Than you can bear

This song lies deep in my bone marrow, and I sing it to my self now and again. Lately I’ve forgotten about this song, and it has shown in my life. I’ve forgotten something fundamental in my relationship with God

God has already given me everything, promised that I will not be without anything I need. He has even promised me he will give me more than I need. The load I’m carrying is mine for me, but for God it is not. He wants me to give it to Him. That way it is not mine anymore. He wants to carry it for me. And for those things I need to go through life to have growth, He will walk with me, carry me when I can’t walk myself, and most importantly, he will give me new strength every day, and make sure I won’t get more than I can handle in life. This is a comfort for me, because it means that I will have strength to go through everything I meet in life, even when t doesn’t feel like it.

Which brings me on to another subject: Holley Gerth says something about feelings in ‘You’re Already Amazing!‘:

‘imagine a little girl with a coloring book in front of her. Someone taps her on her shoulder and says, “Use this yellow crayon to draw a sun.” Then someone else pipes in and says, “No, use this red one to make a fire.” A third declares, “You have to make the water blue now!”She may have been coloring contentedly, but now she’s unsure. That’s how it often feels like  when many different emotions try to get our attention. How do we really make sure our hearts reflect what God wants us to see? Fortunately there’s another voice asking for our obedience and attention. It’s the voice of the One who loves us. He made the crayons. he made the coloring page. He alone holds the vision for what we’re created with and for him. So what are we supposed to do with all of the other messages we receive? Listen to them, but ultimately obey him. Emotions make great messengers but bad bosses. If we listen to what the messenger has to share with us, then turn to our heavenly Father and ask, “What do you want me to do?” all is well. ‘

I need to remember all of this when my life takes over and it feels like I can’t take any more, or like I am going round and around in a tumble dryer(going all to fast, stuck without getting anywhere, and hot because I want to get out, but don’t know how). The song above, which I am convinced God has given me, reminds me of all of this(without even being finished…), and it reminds me that I always have to turn to God, no matter what mood, situation or time in my life it is.

STOP

What’s your song? Do you have other things(poem, novel, letter, or picture) reminding you onto God’s path, when you are on your way  astray?

My letter to YOU

I am writing this post after encouragement from Holley Gerth’s series on ‘God sized dreams’:

‘This step for your God-sized dream was to write a post entitled “A Letter to the God-sized Dreamers” telling your sisters why what they’re doing and who they’re becoming through this process is worth it–even on the hard days.’

My dear friend

I may not know who you are, but I would really like to get to know you better. However, what I DO know about YOU is that you carry a dream in your heart. I don’t know if it is a big dream, something you have been dreaming of your whole life, or something that has become your dream quite recently. I know nothing of that. And I don’t need to know that. It is not my place to do so. All I know, is that you have a dream, and that this dream is of great importance for you. That, my friend, matters to me! You see, today I have something really special I want to share with you.

I wonder, what would you say if I told you that you could fulfill a dream of yours? No matter how big, small, irrational, unreachable  or insignificant you feel that your dream is. It doesn’t matter. If I told you that you could have everything you need to make your dream come true. Would you accept? You may wonder if I am asking you a trick question… The answer is yes, and no. Yes, because I am not offering you a wand that can make your dream come true in a ‘swoosh’, or a magic spell that will fulfill your dream in a moment. No, because it is true that I have an offer to you that may change your world, and that will give you what you need to fulfill your dream. It may not be what you think you need in order to fulfill your dream, and may not be at the exact time you want it to come true. On your way to getting your dream come true, you may also change opinion on what your dream is. I’ve heard it has been said: : “Sometimes on your way to a dream you get lost and find a better one“. An awful risk to take, isn’t it? What I wanted to share with you is this:

repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” Acts 2: 38

For those who are in Christ (which means: believe that Jesus Christ is God’s son and our Savior. It means saying Yes to following Jesus where he leads you, to give your life to Jesus), God has given the promise:

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.

Ephesians 3:20

But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew 6:33

You need to follow your dream, and continue making it come true. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a time-out where you are not working towards it, or that you can’t change your dream on the way along, but you need to not give it up! I almost gave up my dream once. I’ve had a dream that formed during elementary school: to become an author. Hopefully to someday be able to have that as my job: so I can spend my days on “work” writing. Several of my teachers have encouraged me to chase that dream over the years. When I was 14 or 15, I wrote a piece that was meant to be the start of a book, and sent it in to a publishing company. I got a letter in return, basically saying that what I had written wasn’t fit for the genre they needed, and that the language I used, might not be professional enough. To me that was like saying: “You are not suited to being an author, find something else to do!”.

I still loved writing, like I always had, but every time I tried to write something I couldn’t get anything on the paper. I was afraid that what I wrote wouldn’t be good enough. Since that was something I’d felt I was really good at, my world fell apart. Later I have  struggled with the same feeling in all things I’ve done, steered by the thought: if I wasn’t good at writing when I thought I was, why believe that I am any good at this? It took me 6 years before I started writing again, And even then it was only a few lines with  inspiration of what could one day become a story. I wrote this on my phone, and when my phone was stolen, I lost it, and with it the inspiration to write(again). Finally, last autumn, when we were given an assignment at school where we had to make our own blog just as practice, I made this blog and that’s when I started writing again. I may be far from getting my dream fulfilled, but I am on my way. And I am on my way, despite the fact that I almost had a decade of ‘time-out’ in following my dream.

 Someone once said:

”Don’t try harder, try smarter”.

Now I’m telling you the same. Believe in yourself and believe in what you can accomplish through God, but remember: start the process by believing in Jesus and what he can do to you and your life. Then follow your dream! That way: He will be able to do more in you than you ever think would be possible…

With love

Ava Sophie

Naturally I started this post two weeks ago and are too late to link up with Holley, but click on the button below and find out what her God Sized Dream series are all about:

Philippians

Philippians 3:20-21

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Ava Sophie had some thoughts on this subject. She said to me that we have to let some parts of our lives go, to let some thoughts, fears, things and persons in our life go. When we do let something or someone go, we can be grateful that the pain we experience here on earth is temporary. It will only last for a short time. Then we need to accept that on earth we cannot expect to be met with fair treatment, to experience or to find justice. Accepting that we might not get everything we wish for, or to have our every need as humans honored here on earth. Luckily, Ava Sophie followed up with a ‘but’: We have a promise in Heaven, that there will be only GOOD. In the meantime we need to be persevering, patient, waiting, and making the best of what we have in the present time. Also, to remember that God will use us no matter what situation we are in, no matter how bad we feel: He will use us as His tools if we let Him. Then it is possible to to feel joy and rejoice over knowing that the life we lead in this world is only temporary and that the eternity will be spent with God where we will be surrounded by His love, kindness, peace, justice, grace and mercy. All will be GOOD! Actually it will be AWESOME ;)

This totally gave me a new perspective, and I can endure so much more. I have been promised that everything that fails here will work perfectly and be awesome in heaven. This promise has been given by someone who won’t and can’t break a promise no matter what. He has made a pact with us, which He is bound by. If He were to break this pact, it would go against everything He is. The only one that can break that pact is me, so I sure will work on keeping close to Him: God almighty.

Philippians 4:1-3

Closing Appeal for Steadfastness and Unity
1 Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!
2 I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. 3 Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Ava Sophie talked about a friend of hers. They had a disagreement. She talked about how important it is to agree as Christians and to be of the same mind in Christ. I interpret it as meaning not to be at war with each other, not to stay angry at each other, to have no quarrel, and bear no malice against each other. I am immediately thinking of a bible verse I often have heard in the context of having a good marriage:

Ephesians 4:25-27

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry27 and do not give the devil a foothold.

I’m thinking that we can disagree on different subjects and  be annoyed or angry with one another. Anger itself is not sin. But what I do in anger might be sinful. Not letting the sun go down while still being angry is about putting it right with one another, about forgiveness, and about keeping our hearts pure. As it says in the next line: ‘do not give the devil a foothold’. If I am angry for a long time, my heart toughens, and the anger may turn to grudges. Once I start to bear a grudge, I give the devil a foothold in my heart. To agree with one another is something I often need help from God in order to do. But it is my task, and my duty, to do what I can as well -AFTER I’ve asked God for help. To do my duty, I need to stand firm in the Lord, carry all His words with me, follow His commands in every situation, which means staying close to the Lord through prayer, keep close to the community, reading the Bible, seeking, being silent before God, and really, REALLY listening. I am not always supposed to agree with everything(or everybody), but like I said: it is my duty to keep my heart pure. The only way to do that is to invite Jesus Christ in, every day. I need to stand strong in my belief: That Jesus Christ is God’s son, that he died on the Cross for us, and by doing that He saved me and gave me the chance to say yes to fellowship with Him, God and the Holy Spirit. That’s where my challenge lies. To stand strong in my faith. To keep close at all times.

Ava Sophie once told me that when I feel any sort of doubt, I have to choose to trust God. Having doubt is a feeling. Having Faith is a choice. To believe in something or someone is a choice. Trusting someone is a choice(and something that has to be built up over time). I have to choose to trust in, and to believe in God despite my feeling, and do whatever He tells me to, no matter what, and decide that the feeling of doubt will NOT get the chance to root itself in my heart. I decide that I will not give that feeling any nutrition, and decide to believe independently from that feeling. It takes some work, a lot of it actually, but the more the trust is built up by taking the same choice over and over again, and the more I experience that it pays off to trust God, the work will eventually be less hard. The day I said yes to following Jesus, said yes to giving my whole life to Him, I also said yes to staying close to God, and to doing whatever work is necessary to accomplish that.

Philippians 4:4-7

4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

As mentioned before, it is possible to rejoice in the lord in every situation if only we see the big picture: we have every promise waiting for us in heaven, and I’m spending eternity with God. It will all be perfect, wonderful and awesome, all thanks to Jesus! That is the exact reason why we should all come to God with thanksgiving! God already knows what we want to say and what our soul needs. It surely is unnecessary to tell Him but He keeps encouraging us to tell Him nonetheless: to pour everything out to Him so that He gets permission to take it away(he needs our permission because of the free will he has given us). But first He wants us to give him thanks, to show that we are grateful. If we only thank Him without asking for our needs and wants, our soul has already prayed on our behalf without any words, and God will still give answer our prayers. And believe me, if I am grateful but don’t really feel it, and give thanks to God nevertheless, then I suddenly feel grateful with all of me(giving thanks also seem to be a nice thing to do for our own sake as well)!  ;) Seriously though, of all the things God has done(and will do) for us, the least we can do is to give thanks back to Him. PS! We have a load of promises on How God will make it all easier on us to be here on this earth as well as in heaven ;)

Being friendly and gentle is a good thing for our own sake, and for the people we meet on our road. Being friendly alone can make someone else’s day better, and we ourselves can become happy just by making others happy. If I have a bad day and choose to be friendly despite that, I often end up in a better mood. Perhaps it is because others naturally return friendliness to those who are being friendly towards them. So my day gets better because people are friendly to me, and they have a better day and are friendly to me because I was friendly to them, despite my having a bad day… Most people like better to hang with those who are friendly(as long as it is not fake-friendly), and being friendly may then result in more friends, or closer friends and relationships. All these are good reasons to be friendly, but the most important reason is to meet people with Jesus on the inside.If I meet people with Jesus in my heart, and the way Jesus met people(being friendly, without judgement), then they might risk meeting Jesus through me. God can also use me as His tool a lot more easily in my meeting with other people.

Have you ever heard of the fable: ‘The wind and the sun’? Well, here it goes: The wind and the sun wearied about who was the stronger of them. Suddenly they saw a man walking down the road, and they agreed that the one who could make the man take off his coat, was the strongest one. First up was the wind. He gathered all his power in an attempt to blow off the man’s coat; but the man just drew his coat tighter around himself. The wind eventually had to give up. Next up was the sun. The sun shone so gently and beautifully, and the man soon became so hot that he had to get rid of his coat. I’m just going to let the story speak for itself…

The Lord is near! He is near me, close to me, at all times. He surrounds me on every side, at all times. He is above me, he is under me, he is in the air I breathe(so beware those of you who are afraid of meeting God, you might have gotten him inside already, when you took a breath…), He lives in my heart, and my body is His sacred temple.  Absolutely no one can get as near me as the Lord can. I myself have a tendency to feel lost. It is silly, really. I often catch myself feeling that God is so far away, thinking that he doesn’t answer my prayers, thinking that he doesn’t hear me, doesn’t listen to me or care about me. Why would He care about me? The only one preventing me from feeling how close God is, is me. I am the only one preventing me from hearing/understanding His answer to my prayers. The only one preventing me from feeling exactly how much God cares for me, how much he loves me, well that’s me. God is close all the time and listens all the time. He also answers all my prayers, but not always with the answer I am expecting. That of course is a mighty good reason to stay close to Him at all times, to feel that He is there with me through everything. So that I can hear Him when He talks to me or answers my prayers. When I feel His presence, trust Him to be near, reckon with Him in all, expect him to be near: It can save me from a lot of worries and anxiety. Jesus commands us: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry (…)but seek your Fathers kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Our Father wants only what’s best for us, wants to relieve us from all worries, wants us to let Him give us what we need and what we wish for, so we won’t have to strive on our own. He wants our life here on earth to be the best possible, to get what He created us to be to come out in our identity in Christ! All this is His greatest wish for each and every one of us. And he has the power to give us all of it. Because He has created us, knows us better than we ourselves do, and therefore knows better than anyone what’s best for us. But, for Him to be able to give us what He wants to give us, and to give us what we want, we have to stay close, we have to listen, so we can hear where He wants us to go, and we have to watch so we can see the direction He is pointing us to. We need to be faithful and obedient to his word, only then we can lead the life that are best for us. Only then all of our true dreams can come true. That’s also the reason why he is encouraging us to:  in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God! What do we have to lose(You’ll find the answer in Philippians 3:7-9)?

When Ava Sophie told me about the friend she disagreed with, she told me that some of the things they disagreed on had really hurt her. But then she had read: ‘And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’  She told me she had this ‘pfiew’- feeling when she read that God would guard her heart and mind in Christ. It was so wonderful to watch the joy on her face when she described the peace she felt when she gave over the job of guarding her heart and mind, which are so precious, to God. I think it is an important teaching to us all: that it is we who put our hearts and minds on display for those who want to step on it. If we remember to give God the responsibility, it is easier to keep God’s shield impossible to penetrate.

For the closing line I want to remind you about the power in Christ Jesus’ name.

By saying His name out aloud, all evil will have to go.

Five Minute Friday: Home

This friday I didn’t really need to collect my thoughts: ‘Hmmm, what do I write about the word ‘home’? Should I write this? will I write that?’.  No, This time I thought: ‘That’s Easy!’

Go:

Last night  Ava Sophie met with her family: she went home. This family is not related by blood, but through God. It is her family in Christ. But that is not the only reason she felt home. She came home, because when she met with the congreation they came together in prayer. And  the Lord came to them with his presence, and they were all home.

Ava Sophie thinks it is so wonderful to gather in prayer, to share Gods presence with loved ones. That it is amazing how God never misses out on a prayer-gathering! Where two or three gather in his presence, she knows that she can always count on getting his Word, feeling his peace, and LOVE.

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”  Matthew 18:19-21

Ava Sophie knows this very well, because every time she has gathered with a sister or brother, she always feels God’s presence. Still she is equally amazed every time: how indescribably wonderful it is to come home, just to be in our Holy Father’s presence, to lay in His lap, and feel His hand stroke her hair, to worship Him, give thanks to Him, and to just  be silent before Him, to receive the peace He gives, feel the strength of His love. As if it couldn’t get better, she gets to share this experience with brothers and sisters. There seriously are NO words to describe it, Ava Sophie concluded. It can’t be imagined before it is experienced.  It takes the term ‘coming home’ to a whole new level!

STOP

Ps! Prayer is severely underestimated!

Five Minute Friday