Again linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker in her 5 minute Friday:
I read her 5 minute Friday post late Friday evening, just coming back from a skiing trip with my class. I was exhausted and definitely wasn’t remembering anything, because my brain was hardly working that night. My head was full of thoughts I hadn’t thought quite yet, and full of memories, feelings, aches from the trip, popping constantly and uncontrollably up in my head. I barely registered what was written in this post, but at least I had read it. It was already Sunday when the thoughts of what I am about to write popped up in my mind:
Her little girl had complained most of the 4 hours drive. Only four more hours left. Ava Sophie was growing frustrated. From the front seat she couldn’t hear her daughter’s quiet complaint. She heard the tone it was spoken in; her daughter was in pain. Her feet were growing, therefore aching, and she felt sick and felt the urge to vomit, but was afraid of doing it other places than the toilet at home. She wanted to go back home. She was probably tired and wanted to sleep in her bed and not a car seat. But no matter how much Ava Sophie tried to explain to her daughter that she needed to speak up if she were to be understand. She didn’t speak up, just started to cry. Believe me, Ava Sophie was compassionate. But she was frustrated that she couldn’t do more for her child.They couldn’t stop every fifth minute. Every time they stopped to find a toilet so the little girl could vomit, she suddenly didn’t want to. Every time Ava Sophie tried to hear what her daughters complaints were, her neck hurt. The crying went on and on, and no matter what she did, the crying wouldn’t stop.
She had done what she could. She stopped as often she could. She had given her daughter traveling-sickness medicine before the trip, given her drink and food that would prevent and stop car-sickness, but of course her little girl had barely touched that. She smiled encouragingly and spoke gently. She tried to entertain her with audiobooks and kids’ music, and so on. Eventually Ava Sophie got frustrated, something that happens with little sleep, a long journey and prolonged, loud crying. She got annoyed with her daughter: couldn’t she just shut up? Couldn’t she just fall asleep? Oh, please help me Lord! I can’t stand this. One time she snapped at her daughter, which of course just increased her frustration. Now she felt like a failure as amother as well. But she got herself together, and apologized to her daughter.
At that point a voice only she could hear whispered:
Remember when you were a child? Remember how awful it was to be car sick? Remember how half an hour seemed like an eternity and it took at least half an hour in fresh air, standing still on the ground, to get rid of the nausea? Remember how disgusting the vomit tasted in the mouth afterwards? Remember how unbearable it was at night when your feet grew? Imagine having your feet grow and ache night AND day! Remember feeling so bad that you almost can’t bear to even speak, and certainly not speak up! Please remember this, and I will give you the compassion, strength and endurance you need to keep on going, to be a good mom, and to hang in there. And then I will give you the rest you need.
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.Therefore will we not fear though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea,though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah
Ava Sophie felt really childish, but then she felt herself being filled up with something, and the remaining four hours went easier.