Today she realized she’s falling. She has been for a while now.
She is and has been falling in different ways. She’s been falling in faith, and not the good type of falling where you leave everything to God and fall, in faith that God will catch you. No, It’s the kind of falling in faith, where you distance yourself from God, and you feel your faith is not as strong as it used to be. She has also been falling in the self respect area. She’s constantly trying to manage something her body is not capable of. Things that really have to be done, but her body can’t live up to it. Her body has way past reserve tank on fuel. Her body finally hit the famous wall. She began to loathe her self –because she was not able to do all that she had her mind set on. She had not been able to do what was expected of her elsewhere. She forgot most of her appointments, and those she didn’t forget, she was late for. She was annoyed, could only see all that was negative. Even worse- she started yelling and arguing for no reason, especially with her fiancee and her daughter. She didn’t like who she was becoming, and definitely couldn’t say she loved herself.
She has been falling in sin -the “you shall not have other Gods than me” sort of sin. Somewhere along the last month, where her body was so tired she couldn’t manage what she was supposed to be getting done, but didn’t feel she could rest with a good conscience. Sometime during that month, she started watching Gossip Girl. And believe me, I’m not here to write about whether or not Gossip girl is a bad TV-show. But she became addicted to watching Gossip Girl, because it was easy to just watch something. She prioritized Gossip girl before God, and other things. When she’d watch the TV-show rather than be with her family, Ava Sophie realized that she was giving all her attention away to the wrong things. She wants to put God first. She wants to put her health next, and then there should be family. She wants to set her priorities straight. From this moment on…
Ava Sophie listened to a speech on a CD today. A woman was talking about how it’s easy to have the excuse” Oh, I’m so busy. I’ve got a home, I’ve got family, I’ve got a kid, a husband, a car, and friends(not necessarily in that order), so I can’t find the time for serving God at this point in my life…” The woman on the CD used these words: “you have no idea what is going to happen in your house, in your family, with your kids and your friends. You don’t wait until tomorrow, you start today! You have a heart, and you have a mouth! Have you got any idea how much a heartfelt prayer from you could do to your family, kids, friends or Society? And no one would even know it is you! You can raise your kids as disciples, and you have no idea what impact that could do to Society, to your city, your country or the world in the future. You have the responsibility to keep your heart clean, pure and guarded. And when you give your heart to God, you will find the time to listen to God and to do his work, whatever he tells you to. He will do great things in your home, with your family, friends, and he will do it through you. If you start today…”
“Okay, okay, okay. I’m starting today!” Ava Sophie said. “God, Please do use me as your tool in all relations. Please remind me to ask you every day for what task you have for me today, for what your plans are for me this day, for how I can serve you today!” I’m sorry lord, that you even need to remind me, but still I am here, humble, with an aching wish to serve you and to keep my eyes and focus on you! ‘Cause Lord, I am miserable when I’m not close to you. I need you in my life. I get all my strength from you and without you I’m helpless. But in you, Lord, when I’m on your team, following your plans for me, and doing your will, nobody can stop us. Because the power is yours. All power on earth is yours, and I am fooling myself when I keep my distance from you. Thank you, my Lord, thank you for wanting to be my friend, my father, my guide, my counselor and best friend. Thank you for wanting the best for me, my welfare, my health, my happiness. Thank you for wanting to communicate with me, for wanting to show how much you love me, how much you care for me and thank you for wishing me and creating me for a purpose. I am so thankful to you, Lord, and I am so sorry I drifted apart from you. Will you forgive me? Thank you so much for your forgiveness, thank you so much for your acceptance of those lost souls that comes back to you. And thank you for leading me back onto your path.”
Ava Sophie finally feels comfortable again, free falling in faith, filled with God’s peace, finally accepting God’s love for her. Could anything be better than resting in peace and just feeling oneself get filled with a love so great that you can’t describe it? knowing that you’re wished for, longed for, planned, wanted, accepted, and loved unconditionally?
Do you have any thing going on in your life leading you away from God? Have you ever experienced yourself blocking God? Is there anything in your life you have yet to give to the Lord? What do you have to be thankful for in your life? What has God done for you in your life? Please share your thoughts and your story with me if you like. I would love to listen.